


Upgrade

by poinsixer



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Irondad, Peter has anxiety, as in its not even canon in this fic, best dad tony, he deserves presents, he loves thor, idk - Freeform, just a funny, or rather one-shot, peter + tumblr, peter gets presents, peter is 16, peter is very much an avengers fan-boy, stucky is in there very briefly but its just a fan thing, this isn't angst tho, tired tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 02:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poinsixer/pseuds/poinsixer
Summary: In which Peter is given a new phone and sees something he would have rather avoided.Or, don't wake Tony up while yelling about porn.(or, i'm not good at summaries)





	Upgrade

**Author's Note:**

> this entire scenario came about in a random conversation i had with my friend (who also proof-read this so thank you).  
> it's not the best but i hope its funny, that's the goal here.  
> it's been 5 years since i wrote so hopefully it's not the worst thing you've ever read.  
> enjoy

This was the best day of Peter’s life.

Well, okay, maybe not _the_ best, but it was certainly up there.

When Tony had handed him a small wrapped box one Thursday afternoon when Peter had come to visit, he was initially quite confused.

It wasn’t his birthday, nor was it particularly close to any holiday that involved gift-giving.

“Stop looking so shocked and just open it, kid.” Tony had told him, amusement in his eyes.

Quickly snapping out of his daze, Peter looked down at the present and began peeling the bright red paper from the box, trying to avoid tearing it.

Underneath was a glossy black container with nothing except the ‘Stark Industries’ logo on it.

Excitement and nerves building in his chest, he removed the lid, revealing a (very cool looking, in Peter’s opinion) phone.

“Whoa- Mr. Stark! No way! Wh- I can’t take this! It’s so cool! This tech is so new and-” Peter cut himself off, taking a breath, and looking up at his mentor, who had a crooked grin on his face. “Why’re you giving this to me?”

Tony blinked, grin growing slightly, “You deserve it, Pete. You’ve been working real hard. Plus, I’ve seen your phone. An iPhone 6s? Still? It’s worth an upgrade. And anyway this phone is a thousand times better than anything you’ll get on the market. So take it.”

He gently nudged the box closer to the younger man, looking pleased with himself.

“I- I mean, if you’re sure Mr. Stark. It’s amazing! Thank you!” Peter beamed, butterflies in his stomach and face flushing slightly at his excitement-induced stammering.

“No problem. It’s already set up for you and everything, but if you want to mess around on it for a bit before we get started, go ahead. Karen is in there too, just for you.”

Tony ruffled his hair before turning and taking a seat at a workbench, leaving Peter to figure out how his new phone functioned.

 

***

 

And that’s what led to Peter’s current situation; hanging by his knees from the top bunk of his bed, scrolling through Tumblr on his new and incredibly awesome Stark Phone, two days later.

Typically his feed was more or less safe for work, excluding some very poorly drawn phallic images that seemed to appear occasionally, but he usually ignored those in favour of seeing very _well_ drawn pictures of various Avengers.

He’d just come across an accurate yet stylised drawing of Thor (which he saved to his phone, full disclosure), when suddenly, completely unexpectedly, a very explicit image of _Captain America_ and _The_ Winter Soldier came into view on his screen.

With a shriek, the device slipped from Peter’s fingers and onto the floor, followed swiftly by Peter himself as his legs lost grip on the guard rails of his bed.

He hit the floor with a thud and a grunt of pain, scrabbling around for a second before righting himself, face bright red and heart thumping violently.

He made a mad grab for his phone, almost dropping it a second time before exiting and completely shutting the app, breathing quickly, before a thought occurred to him.

 _If this is a Stark Industries phone and it has Karen and- oh God will Mr. Stark know that I just had porn on my phone? Oh no oh no-_ , Peter’s thoughts turned frantic as he started panicking, very quickly deciding that perhaps he should call and apologise and explain himself before Tony had the chance to call him and start asking questions.

Entering the number he had memorised, he held the phone up to his ear, rising from the floor to start pacing back and forth around his room anxiously while he waited for Tony to pick up.

When he did, it sounded like he’d just woken up.

“Hello..? Pete’re you ‘right?” Came the half mumbled greeting, followed by a yawn.

Before he could fully control the volume at which he was speaking, Peter was mostly yelling/crying into the phone. “Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark I’m sorry I’m- It’s not my fault! I swear I-” He was cut off by Tony, who sounded concerned now, more awake.

“What- Kid calm down, what are you yelling about?”

“The porn!! I’m sorry about the porn! It was just once and it wasn’t on purpose and-”

“Porn, what?” Tony sounded more concerned by the second, or maybe it was confused, Peter couldn’t tell. Maybe he was angry? Or amused?

“Wait- Peter are you telling me you’re in a porn here?” Now he sounded very concerned. And angry.

“No Mr. Stark-”

“Peter Parker you are _SIXTEEN_ -”

“Mr. Stark I’m not-”

“I swear to GOD I will KILL whoever-”

Peter took a deep breath before properly yelling into the phone, trying to stop the train of thought that was going through Tony’s mind.

“NO MR. STARK I AM NOT IN A PORN.”

There was a pause, followed by a huge sigh on the other end of the line.

“Thank god. Pete you can’t just go calling people up while they’re sleeping to scream about porn. I’m not awake enough to _not_ get confused by that.” Tony sighed again, relieved.

Peter shook his head, despite the fact it couldn’t be seen, “No I just- I was looking at Tumblr and- stuff came up and just- I thought you might be able to know that things like that were on my phone? Even if it was an accident and I didn’t want to see it? And it was stuff I really didn’t want to see?”

There was another pause before he heard Tony laughing. It started as a chuckle before developing into full laughter, confusing Peter tremendously.

“Mr. Stark are you- are you okay?”

It was a solid ten seconds before he got a response, with what would have been an awkward silence filled with laughter from Tony’s end instead.

He waited anxiously, not completely sure what was going to happen and if maybe Tony was so angry that he’d just kind of lost it and gone into fits of hysteria?

When he finally heard the older man’s voice again, it was slightly breathless.

“Kid, I do not look at your phone’s history or anything- I won’t unless I think somethings wrong. I especially don’t care if you see porn- hell- I’m not your aunt. That’s not my problem. You’re a kid, shady internet activity is what you do.”

Peter opened his mouth to quickly deny the claim, before Tony swiftly interrupted his barely-begun objection, “Yes, yes I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m just saying, it’s not unusual.”

Peter’s jaw snapped shut.

“In any case, do what you want with the phone as long as it’s not highly illegal. Or creepy. Or just wrong as far as common-sense goes. Fair enough?”

The high schooler floundered for a moment then seemed to gain his language skills back, “Yes! Yeah of course!”

“Okay, good. I’m gonna go back to my nap now, if that’s all?”

“Yeah- It is, sorry dad, thank you-” Peter froze suddenly, realising he had, in fact, just called his mentor ‘dad’, “I uh-”

“All good, Pete. Goodnight.” Tony said, despite knowing full-well it was the middle of the afternoon.

“Okay- ‘night Mr. Stark!”

The call ended.

Peter took a deep breath, sitting down heavily on his lower bunk and leaning his elbows on his knees, dropping his head down.

“That could have been worse, I guess.” He mumbled to himself, running a hand through his hair then flopping back onto the mattress.

It was then that a knock sounded on his bedroom door, causing Peter to startle and jerk back up into sitting, hitting his head on the bottom of the top bunk.

He didn’t think Aunt May was home. Crap.

He hissed a quiet ‘shit’ and rubbed his forehead with one hand while getting to his feet and heading toward his door.

Pulling said door barely open, he peered around the edge and came face to face with his, very suspicious looking, aunt.

“So what was that I just heard about porn?”

“I can explain!”


End file.
